What I Know About Relationships
A few months ago, I was given a task by a friend to write for an online magazine.
The topic was a letter written to a younger me.
At that moment of life, I was pondering upon what it really means to be with a woman & what is she in a man's life.
Here is my letter to a younger me...
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Dear Younger Me,
I know exactly how you feel. I understand your needs. I was curious like you were. I watched the same movies and read the same novels. I know that you like girls, keep it that way. They require a lot of work but everything you put into her comes back multiple folds. She is the perfect investment. Invest in her and you will never end up with a loss!
But how do you choose? Remember to choose only one. I know you are curious about other women but honestly speaking, one woman is more fulfilling than many women. When one woman decides to give you her all, it is better than any gift you can ever imagine. Definitely better than what the many women can give you. Besides, it is not in your nature to have multiple women. I know. However, do not go with just any woman. Time your time to discover her. Intuition will lead you to the right one. The one that keeps you up at night and wakes you up in the morning. The one that you feel most alive, natural and yourself with. She is the one.
When you find her, remember not to rush into things. Believe it or not, you need time as well to figure out whether she is someone you are willing to spend your time with. Consider your needs, her needs, your family, her family and your futures. I know there are many things you want to try out but women are different. They have more to lose. So be the man, tell her it is ok to take her time. Let her open up to you slowly. Be true to her and she will be true to you. Be honest with her and she will learn to trust you. Respect her and she will be comfortable with you. They know when you lie. So don’t even try. If you do, do apologise.
Once you earn her trust, she will automatically want to draw closer to you. Do not neglect her. Love her. Listen to her. Empathise. Adore her. Spend time with her. Make her laugh. Surprise her. Tease her. Care for her. Wipe her tears off her face. Encourage her. Let her know that you are thinking of her. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Always keep in mind that neither of you are perfect. There is no such thing as the perfect couple. One day you will disagree on something. On that day, be a real man. Learn to humble yourself and let her win arguments. When she is more emotionally stable, bring up the issue again – gently. Respect her views. Stay. Don’t run away from your problems. Two heads are better than one. Solve them together.
However, remember that you are the man and she should respect your decisions. Choose your faith, principles and priorities wisely and stick to them. As long as they are reasonable, there is no reason for a woman to want you to change this basis of your character. She should accept, understand and honour them. So should you, even when honouring them forces you to wait for something good. It is more rewarding to wait for something good. I know.
God is your Lord and she is your helper. Do not make her your God or make her your mother. She should be your partner working hand in hand towards a common goal. Man and woman: the perfect team. Complementing. Your weaknesses strengthened by her and vice versa. Understand that when two become one flesh. It’s not all about sex. It is equally about emotional, mental & spiritual union as well. No matter what age, race, background or personality, as long as the both of you are willing to cooperate in such a manner, there is a large chance that this relationship will go far. Very far.
If your relationship does not work out, do not be discouraged. Mourn. Reflect. Let go. Let good experiences and mistakes teach you valuable lessons. Do not go out deliberately on a desperate search for a replacement. Never treat a woman as a rebound. It is a shameful act for a man. You are ready to love again when you have accepted and are walking in a single life. Confusing I know. The best women are discovered by accident. God has a way of putting wonderful woman in your way when you are ready. After all, he does knows what’s best for you.
I have spent much of my life pondering and suffering to receive these insights. My wish is you will not. However, if it is God’s will for you, so be it. But if you feel stuck and are in need of a little insight to shed light on your relationship, unfold this letter again and let my heart speak to you.
I love you.
Yours sincerely,
The future you.
