Making Friends As A Young Adult
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| BFFs |
I rarely saw the flaws in other people & could see a lot of good in everybody. I worked on clicking with other people & doing things that we could enjoy together.
I just genuinely enjoyed the company of other people & enjoyed learning about different perspectives.
I guess during that time, everyone was in school & everyone had something in common: bad teachers, good teachers, hot school girls, hot teachers, bloody exams, favourite subjects, confusing subjects, music, movies, computer games, sports, football & so on.
We were probably less reserved back then & were more willing to share anything about ourselves with people we barely knew.
We also had more time to spend with each other & just hangout.
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| best buddies from uni |
Everybody at that stage still had a lot in common although they may be studying for different fields: bad lecturers, awesome ones, hot uni girls, hot tutors, hot lecturers, gay ones, bloody assignments, bloody exams, awesome courses, boring courses, music, movies, computer games, sports, football & so on.
However, that was also a time when I started to sense that things were different than from back in school. People studying different degrees carried themselves differently, dressed differently & they were definitely treated differently.
I was regarded & treated different according to what I was studying & where I was studying.
I did not give it much thought. I carried on enjoying the company of people & genuinely wanted to reach out to as many as I could. I made a lot of friends during my school & university years.
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| watch out. she may smell sweet & sound like butterflies but let your guard down & she'll change you. |
As with any boy-girl relationship, there will be times when you fight/argue. During one of those highly emotional & intense moments, she questioned my choice of friends & certain people I respected.
You see, prior to that, I respected & loved all my friends without prejudice.
She changed that. She made me see that not all friends were created equal. She made me see that certain people were bad & disgusting. That moment changed my life forever. There's nothing like a woman to screw you over.
That was the beginning of a more reserved me. That was when I stopped trying to make friends with everybody. That was when I started to be selective about who I let into my heart.
When we broke up, my world fell apart. The hurt I felt from losing her made it even harder for me to restore the original me, the me I was before her.
I became a shadow of my former self. I was really really lost. I started pushing people away. I became very selective. I guess I got a taste of what it was like to be an adult.
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| best buddies from junior high |
Unless you're close, many adults will rarely talk about what matters to them or what they really think. They wall up their hearts & fence up their emotions because deep inside we are all imperfect & politically incorrect.
They look at you funny if you have different skin/clothes/car/profession. Also, sometimes certain areas of a city are only for certain types of people.
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| put on a pair of glasses, hire a cameraman & students will gather around you like a moth to the flame |
These were children. They loved me freely & only wanted to be loved in return. They did not understand the cold relationships adults have with one another.
Now, I'm taking the middle ground. I'll love them & care about them but, at the same time, I will not let them get too close. I will be honest & explain the situation to them whenever they overstep their boundaries. I guess this might help prepare them for what is to come.
I find that I'm not the only one evaluating who I should spend time with. People do it to me too.
As adults, everybody has a job & very limited time outside of it to spend liberally. It is understandable for people to be selective.
I don't know how many times I've randomly met old school friends who would give me 1 word answers to questions about him/her & life & then shut right up. It was a major hint of not wanting anything else to do with me. Sad sad moments.
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| best buddies from high school |
It is just sad to know that with new people or some people that I used to know, it will not be as easy to build a friendship anymore. They will have to classed as colleagues / contacts / associates / acquaintances / business partners / suppliers / clients / stakeholders instead of plainly friends.
Well, at least in my profession I can still relive a moment of pure honest friendship with teenagers. A gulp of fresh air before submerging into a deep superficial world of adult relationships.
